What Romeo and Juliet missed altogether...

I had a delightful and edifying conversation yesterday. I was listening to a sermon online the night before last by a minister named Don Currin (http://doncurrinministries.org) and in the sermon something he said caught my attention. He mentioned two men from the pulpit; the first man he mentioned has been one of my dearest brothers since high school, and the second man he mentioned was one of my favorite preachers, and he referred to the second man as the future father-in-law of the first. My friend lives in San Antonio, and I in Houston, and I had no idea that he had even begun to consider marriage, let alone to the daughter of such a great man of God. For years he had said he was terrified of the prospect of marriage because he was terrified of having his ministry inhibited, and he knew that husbands inherently had cares of the world (1.Cor. 7:33-35). Apparently something had changed.
Today, I decided to take the opportunity to call my friend and ask him if it was really true, if he was engaged, and how it had come about. The story was like none I have ever heard. I doubt he will mind me sharing it, because it can serve as an incredible example of the provision of God to a young man and young woman who resolved to be obedient to the Lord in the manner in which they approached marriage. Let me say first though, this is not a character study where I seek to glorify two people for their conduct; this is about the faithfulness of God to his promise that "No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly" (Ps. 84:11b). And besides, He is the Redeemer that caused them to walk uprightly in the first place.

Henceforth I will refer to my friend as Jim and his fiance as Beth.

     At a conference a year ago, Jim hardly knew Beth. They had barely even spoken anything more than "hi." Beth's father Bill was scheduled to preach one evening, but he was ill, and was not going to be able to. Jim, however, had a strong sense that it was the Lord's will for Bill to preach and that the Lord was willing to heal him. The conference attendees were gathering for a meal, but Jim set himself to prayer that Bill would be healed and sustained through preaching. On his way away from the meal to the church building to pray with some other brothers, he ran into Beth, and asked her if she had a measure of faith that her father would be healed for preaching. She said she did, and joined them in a cry room in the back of the church. As Jim, the brothers, and Beth knelt on the floor of the cry room, the Lord told Jim that Beth was the woman he was to marry. Jim was alarmed, and shoved it aside, thinking it was the devil trying to inhibit him from praying for Bill. Jim did not tell me whether or not Bill was able to preach that night.
     The next morning, Jim couldn't shake the feeling that the revelation that he was to marry Beth was from the Lord. He rose early to pray, and walked out to a secluded road. It was very early, and very cold. Jim told the Lord, "Lord, if you really mean this about Beth, have her walk out here on this secluded road, in the cold, in the early morning." Jim turned to walk back to the church campus, and Beth stepped out onto the road. He was in complete shock, but simply walked past her. The conference ended, and Jim went back to San Antonio, and Beth back to her home in Missouri.
     Over the next couple months, Jim couldn't stop thinking about it. While experiencing this subjective revelation from the Lord, however, Jim had noticed a girl in San Antonio that he was somewhat attracted to. He mentioned both to his pastor, and his pastor's response was "Brother, why would you be interested in a girl like that when the Lord has revealed to you someone as godly as Beth?" As Jim told me on the phone, he should have gone to his pastor earlier, for "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." (Prov. 11:14). Jim became more and more convinced that it was the Lord's will for him to marry Beth, but he didn't want to manipulate it; he didn't want to force it. Prior to his conversion, he had been in a romance of his own making and he did not want to go down that road again. If the Lord wanted to bring it about, Jim wouldn't have to push the envelope. And he didn't. His pastor had occasion to visit Beth's father Bill, and while there, he told Bill about what Jim had experienced. Upon returning to San Antonio, Jim's pastor told him, "you'd better call Bill." Jim did call Bill. He was terrified, but he made the call. Bill understood completely, and invited Jim to spend thanksgiving at the family's home in Missouri. Jim accepted, and while there, asked Bethany to pray and fast about marrying him. No courtship, no dating, no letters, no phone calls, nothing. No man made manipulation of emotions. Entirely left up to God, just straight up, "would you pray and fast about marrying me?" Now that is a man's proposal. Beth said she would pray and fast, and Jim went home to San Antonio.
     After a short time, Beth told Jim that she had no peace about it. As things were, she could not marry him. Jim held on, trusting that it was the Lord's will and the Lord would work in Beth's heart. For a long time Jim heard nothing from Beth. Several times he was tempted to contact her, but he wanted to be sure he was in the Lord's will, and he had come too far trusting the Lord to take things into his own hands now. Then, after two months, Beth e-mailed him. The Lord had given her peace. She was going to marry him.
     After Beth told Jim that the Lord had given her peace about marrying him, she told him how the Lord had brought her to the conclusion that she was to marry him. To Jim's surprise, the Lord had spoken to her also as they knelt on the floor of the church cry room praying for her father, but when Jim merely walked past her the next morning on the secluded road, she had thought it had not been the Lord after all. Thus, when Jim asked her to pray and fast about marrying him, she was taken completely off guard. Her father Bill had great confidence that Jim was right, and knew that Jim's confidence that it was the Lord's will for him to marry Beth continued even after she initially told him she had no peace about it. But Bill did something very important. He said nothing to his daughter about Jim's confidence. He was not going to manipulate the situation either direction. He wanted his daughter to know that she knew that she knew that the Lord wanted her to marry Jim. One day, Beth went on a walk with her father. She told him that she had confidence that the Lord truly desired her to marry Jim. Then, and only then, her father told her that he believed she and Jim were right. He told her that Jim had been certain for months; it was not fleeting, it was sure. But he did not tell her til she was sure herself.
     Several things struck me as I sat in my car on the phone with Jim, listening to him tell me this story. The first was that neither Jim or Beth were looking for marriage. The second was that neither had read books, learned methods, or anything surrounding courtship or marriage, and yet, they reached the point of engagement without emotional strife, undue attachment, or - God forbid - sexual sin. (This is not to say we shouldn't read such books, we should. Try http://www.gracefamilybaptist.net/voddie-baucham-ministries/) So how did this happen? How did they get there so clean, so unscathed? Well, first, both were redeemed...really redeemed. Years before, they were born again to walk in newness of life, and they did walk in newness of life. When I say they arrived clean and unscathed, I mean since their conversion. Second, they walked closely with the Lord Jesus Christ, and their lives were consistently characterized by spiritual discipline. Over the years, as they walked with God, the passion they gained for Christ at conversion grew. Above all things, their desire was to please Jesus Christ, and this guided their entire approach to marriage. Also, they had both learned to rely on the absolute sovereignty and providence of God in everyday life, and they did the same in approaching marriage. God gave them an unction to understand his will, and instead of running off to each other to say "hey, God said we should do this," they accepted it as his will, and trusted the Lord that he would bring it to pass. This is no Romeo and Juliet, "I must have you, regardless of parents, God, or anyone else" kind of romance. This is a love story that is not about two people's love for eachother, it's a love story about the love of God for two people whom He taught to say "I will have you if it is the Lord's will, and only if it is the Lord's will."

Friends, this has been a long one; indeed, i may have made it a little longer than it needed to be, but some stories need every last bit to be as good as they really are. I trust you enjoyed the story (it really is true, you know), and that it contained some nugget of truth for you to apply to your own life.

"Those who are enjoying something, or suffering something together, are companions. Those who enjoy or suffer one another, are not." - C.S. Lewis

Leaving the Station...

Joyful Greetings!

This - oh the momentous occasion - is my first ever blog. Of late, I have often found myself with various thoughts and ideas I wanted to express, more or less en masse, but desired a more dignified avenue through which to express them than mere facebook status updates, which I regard as relatively cheap communication. No, fine wines are not delivered in a brown paper sack; they are carried in an engraved wooden box. This blog is the engraved wooden box. By God's grace, the wine will not be cheap, but will be fitting for the box. I am determined this blog is not to be for common petty expression, but for conveying meaningful ideas. I have reflected a great deal on the fact that one day I will die, and I for one detest the idea of passing through this world and engraving no mark on it, or worse, leaving a smudge. Mind, I aim not to impact this world simply for itself, but rather recognize that what occurs in this world is the determinant of what happens in eternity, and I don't want to stop impacting eternity just as soon as I have entered it. Thus, I want to write, write well, and write a great deal. I even hope one day to be quoted (though I likely flatter myself). I have in my room a quote book from the works of C.S. Lewis that is a daily companion, and has impacted me on many occasions with brief, pithy expressions of truth, and also musings. Sometimes it has been the musings that have impacted me the most. Teach a man to apply an equation of physics and you have made him more knowledgeable. Teach a man to derive an equation of physics from a real particle in motion and you have made him a physicist. It is really the same for me reading Lewis; it's the musings that really set the wheels in motion. With that in mind, you can expect this blog to contain many mere statements of truth. Sometimes there may be no more than links to articles or sermons. But more than that, you can expect thoughts, reasons. I will write of my convictions, but not merely my convictions, but how I arrived there.

With all this talk of serious things like convictions and fine wine and the late old englishman, you might think that I will not post anything from mere day-to-day experiences. This is not so. Intermingled with musings, convictions, sermons, articles, and perhaps even essays, there will be pictures and stories. But they will not be frivolous.

Trains are great sturdy things, and train tracks are only built from one significant location to the next. This blog will be a train, not a taxi cab. I am glad to say it is now leaving the station. Include a picture of a train? I think so.